Most Dead Men Tell No Tales
by bucktooth22
Summary: Thorin comes back to life and tries to win Bilbo's heart back. Bilbo's dealing with a lot of self hate because he blames himself for Fili, Kili, and Thorin's deaths. Thilbo Bagginshield
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit

Thorin had walked a long way, farther than most dead people walk. No one could explain it except the stories did develop quite beautifully. He had been dead, that much was for certain. He and his two nephews, who were more like sons to him than sister-sons, had been quite dead. Bilbo had cried so much and spoken so little that most people just left him alone. But he began grieving by not leaving the side of Thorin's body. Then he could no longer handle being so near him anymore so he went to a different tent where he sat in a shroud of darkness that seemed to be produced from the little hobbit himself. He said nothing, ate little to nothing, but drank as much alcohol as he could find. He no longer cried, most said he had no tears left, and when, at last, he set off for the Shire with the wizard, Thorin woke. By the time someone became aware of Thorin's no longer dead state Bilbo and the wizard were long gone. Thorin took some time to recover but as soon as he could, he set out for the Shire. No one seemed to notice his absence, he had been careful not to rouse suspicion. The long trip back to the Shire was perilous but much less than the adventure to the mountain. Thorin, no matter how fast his pace, never caught up with the burglar or the wizard. It had seemed like forever before he finally reached the Shire. His clothes were in need of mending and he had quite a few unattended cuts. He would probably scare most hobbits in the Shire but the one he wouldn't scare, Bilbo, was the one he most wanted to see. At least, that was the only one he thought he wouldn't scare.

He was leading his pony along the path when he heard soft crying. After a short search in the bushes he found a tiny hobbit. It appeared to be a child and was very small. When he looked up at Thorin his eyes widened. "I do not mean to frighten you." Thorin said gently. The boy made him miss his own adopted sons. He would never see Kili and Fili again.

"You didn't frighten me. I lost my way." The boy said defensively.

"Where were you going?" Thorin asked trying to sound gentle.

"My uncle's house." The boy said seeming proud. "I'm running away to live with him." He stood and puffed out his chest, clearly feeling very much more like a big person than the tiny hobbit he was. Thorin was once again struck with nauseating nostalgia for his lost boys. This child was so much like them, run away to be with his uncle and feeling bigger than he was. Thorin could practically see the brothers dancing around the boy with mischief alight in their eyes.

"Well perhaps someone might know where your uncle lives where I am going. Would you care for a ride?" Thorin asked waving at his pony. The hobbitling seemed much too small to ride a creature for dwarves but he nodded eagerly so Thorin plucked him up easily and plopped him on top of the beast's back. His little legs were stuck out straight on each side of him and Thorin repressed a laugh as he set off again. He knew where he was going; he'd been there once before. In passing, Thorin wondered if the wizard's mark would still be on the door.

When he arrived, the tiny hobbit clambered down and into the house without another word. After a long while, he reemerged, dragging none other than Master Bilbo Baggins, burglar extraordinaire. Thorin smiled at the sight of his old flame but the moment Bilbo laid eyes on Thorin, his eyes rolled back and his body crumpled to the floor.

"Uncle!" The tiny hobbit child squeaked frantically. Thorin repressed a sigh, still as weak of heart as he was in the beginning.

"Fetch some water." Thorin said to the hobbitling before carrying Bilbo inside and resting him in a worn old chair. When the boy returned, Thorin splashed some over Bilbo's head, rousing him with much sputtering.

"T-Thor... No. No, it can't be, you're dead." Bilbo faltered.

"I am clearly very much alive." Thorin replied as he handed Bilbo the rest of the water in a cup. He gulped it down before discarding the cup on the nearest table.

"You were dead!" Bilbo stomped his large feet like a child throwing a tantrum as he stood up, clearly not the reaction Thorin had been expecting.

"Have you lost all manners you once possessed? This little hobbit says he's visiting his uncle." Thorin waved at the tiny hobbitling. Bilbo faltered.

"Uncle Bilbo?" The tiny child asked in a small voice. "Are you going to introduce me?"

"T-Thorin, this is my nephew Frodo." Bilbo said weakly.

"So this is the famed uncle?" Thorin smiled as he looked at Frodo who grinned warily and nodded.

"Well Frodo, your uncle and I might need-" Thorin was cut off.

"No. You, out." Bilbo glared at Thorin and pointed at him and then at the round green door.

"My little burglar found his courage?" Thorin taunted.

"I saved you enough times with wit and quick thinking not to need your brash brand of reckless courage." Bilbo snapped before bustling Thorin from his little house. Thorin said nothing as he stood on Bilbo's porch, looking like he expected as much, even though he definitely had not expected as much, as the green door slammed in his face. He slid down and leaned against the grassy wall, humming a gentle tune as he sat mulling over what his next task would be on his quest of reclaiming Bilbo's heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit

Bilbo went out, seeming to not notice Thorin sleeping on his front porch but when he came back, arms full of groceries, and Thorin was awake he faltered. The steely glare he had meant to send ended up becoming more of a tired expression directed at the dwarf. "Help me carry my things inside." Bilbo sighed heavily. "And don't bleed on my cabbage!"

"I'll try not to, Master Baggins." Thorin said in a soft delighted purred as he took the sacks of produce and walked into the familiar home after the hobbit. It was earthy and a tad small for a dwarf of his size but it was Bilbo and that meant he loved it. He put the things in the pantry before going back out into the main sitting area where Bilbo seemed to be waiting for him, arms crossed over his small chest.

"I'll not have you stomping around making a mess of the place." Bilbo huffed indignantly as he led Thorin to the washroom. "Clean up and then I'll patch up your wounds. And don't take your time! Second breakfast is shortly." Bilbo was trying to seem put out by Thorin's presence but Thorin knew better. When he was done cleaning himself he dried off, and began tying his long hair in braids until he realized that it would take far too long and ended up just tying it up in a pony tail. Bilbo walked in with a stern look on his face and, seeing Thorin about to put his dirty torn clothes back on, he huffed, snatched them away and sat the blushing dwarf down.

"It is indecent-" Thorin tried to protest as he covered his unmentionables with his large hands.

"Oh hush." Bilbo swatted Thorin's hand before tying bandages over the lingering cuts. Thorin felt like he was half dressed with all the bandages Bilbo tied on him. Most of his arms, hands and legs were tied up tightly. When he was done, Bilbo made to leave.

"My clothes?" Thorin faltered.

"Frodo's in the kitchen so he won't see you indecent. Go to my room and find something to wear." Bilbo said impatiently before leaving. Thorin didn't think anything of the hobbits would fit him but he did as he was told.

As he suspected, nothing of Bilbo's fit. After a long struggle, and just as he was going to pull the sheets off the bed and tie them around his body, Bilbo walked in. "I said don't take your time." Bilbo grumbled.

"Nothing fits me." Thorin huffed, clearly tiring of being polite to the little hobbit. Thorin wanted to go back to the time when he could say anything and the hobbit would still shield the young prince with his own body. But those times were gone now. Bilbo, done his adventures, and Thorin, a king.

"You missed second breakfast, grumbling about indecency, track mud and blood and whatever else all over my house, used up almost all of the bandages I have." Bilbo was mumbling unhappily as he went through his clothes. "Fine. If nothing fits you...stay in here." Bilbo said as he left the room at last. Thorin sat on the end of the bed waiting rather impatiently before Bilbo finally returned with Thorin's just washed clothes near dinner time.

"Thank you master Baggins." Thorin said softly as he began dressing.

"Did...did Fili and Kili..." Bilbo stopped his voice cracking and his eyes watering. He hadn't said their names since he set out for the journey home.

"They did not make it as far as I know." Thorin mumbled softly.

"I'm sorry Thorin." Bilbo mumbled looking at the large scars on Thorin's back as the dwarf dressed.

"Those who were there said that you did all you could for the three of us." Thorin said seemingly casually.

"It wasn't enough. I should have done more." Bilbo murmured.

"You did more than could ever be asked of you. You must know that?" Thorin looked searchingly at Bilbo for a moment before holding his arms open for Bilbo to walk into.

"Nothing I could have done would ever be enough for those boys. For you." Bilbo shied away from Thorin's open arms, denying the invitation for a hug. He instead, sniffled, wiped his face on his handkerchief and turned back to Thorin with a hardened and yet dead look in his eyes.

"You had best get to the dining room; Frodo should be laying out the dishes now.

"Bilbo-" Thorin tried to comfort his clearly broken burglar but the hobbit shied away, leaving the room before Thorin could make any more advances.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit

As the three sat down to dinner, a tense silence fell over them. Frodo looked between his two elders nervously before finally gathering up the courage to talk. "Your hair is long." Frodo said eyeing Thorin's ponytail. "Do you always keep it in a ponytail?"

"Silly little hobbit. This is no pony's tail. This is, as you can see by is splendor, a stallion tail." Thorin winked at the little hobbit who giggled delightedly.

"Do you always keep it in a stallion tail?" Frodo asked, still giggling.

"My sister-sons used to tie braids in my hair." Thorin said wistfully. Bilbo snapped. He felt enough guilt without Thorin as a constant reminder. He already blamed himself for Kili and Fili's loss. He didn't need Thorin saying things the brothers had done for him, things they'd never do for him again. Bilbo did not need to feel any worse. He stood and left the table without a single word, carrying his dishes with him. Thorin followed him, of course. "I apologize if I have offended you in some way." Thorin said as he handed Bilbo his dirty dishes. Bilbo was scrubbing the plates so furiously Thorin feared they might shatter.

"Frodo will want to go out and play with his cousins and Sam after he's done eating. If you are done regaling us with stories of your lost family, could you fetch his dishes and tell him he may go but only until supper time." Bilbo snapped. Thorin looked at Bilbo for a moment and wondered if this was how Bilbo felt after all the times he'd snapped at him during their journey.

"As you wish Master Baggins." Thorin said bowing slightly before leaving the room. Bilbo scrubbed harder until he decided that plate was done its torment and moved on to the next one. When Thorin dropped the dishes off Bilbo snatched them out of Thorin's hands and began scrubbing Frodo's plate so hard, it broke into pieces. And, because Bilbo's life wasn't perfect enough, one of the pieces cut a long deep gash in his hand. Thorin snarled and snatched Bilbo's hands away from the shards of glass. "I don't understand why you're upset and I do not care. You need to stop this." Thorin snarled as he dragged Bilbo to the same washroom as before. He rinsed off the quickly accumulating blood and tied the last of Bilbo's bandages around his hand. Bilbo leaned against the wall looking out the window at the horizon with an expression that said he was not actually seeing it.

"That was the first time I'd talked about them." Bilbo murmured softly.

"Kili and Fili?" Thorin asked. Bilbo nodded, seeming broken.

"It doesn't matter how many people tell me it wasn't my fault, I still bear the guilt." A sob escaped the hobbit.

"Well I'll tell you every day until you forget the guilt." Thorin said trying to sound gentle.

"It's not something you just forget. It's something I have to learn to live with." Bilbo murmured.

"I do not accept that." Thorin frowned. "I don't know what force brought me back, but I do know that those boys' lives were better for having you in them. They loved you like a parent. I love you too. I wonder if that's what brought me back. I couldn't leave you." Thorin said.

"Stop. Stop loving me." Bilbo moaned. Thorin's love hurt too much.

"I'll never stop loving you. And I know it's selfish but I want you to love me too. You used to. When we were on our journey. You loved me then." Thorin wanted Bilbo's love, as he had once had. He had once spent late nights holding the hobbit close, kissing him, loving him. But then the adventure ended, and they had to return to reality. A reality without dragons or oceans of gold. A reality where Thorin was dead and Kili was dead and Fili was dead. A reality where Bilbo had gone home and had adopted a child whose parents had died and no longer needed Thorin. No longer wanted Thorin. That was the dwarf's reality. And he had to face it but he was scared. He was scared and wanted someone to face reality with and the only person left was Bilbo. But Bilbo's reality was different.

"I love you Thorin. But I need you to stop loving me. It hurts too much. It was my fault you died. I could have done more, stopped you from fighting in that stupid battle, given you the arkenstone, anything. I hated the world for so long; I hated everything, and blamed everyone for you and the boys. But then I realized I was pointing the finger at everyone but the true villain, myself. So don't love me.

I don't deserve it. I never deserved it." Bilbo said as he brushed away tears he hadn't realized he'd shed during his speech. He pushed past Thorin and out of the room before anymore words could be shared, going to prepare a room for the dwarf.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit

And so time went on, Bilbo avoiding Thorin and Thorin trying to catch Bilbo. By the time the dwarf finally got the meal schedule memorized, Bilbo had stopped eating. Any time the dwarf thought he had Bilbo caught, the hobbit would disappear. After a while Thorin snuck into Bilbo's room while the hobbit was asleep. When Bilbo woke to find a dwarf sitting in front of his mirror, putting braids in his long dwarf hair, his first instinct was to smile, naturally, assuming it was a dream. "How are you this lovely morning?" Thorin asked. And then all of the memories hit him, like a slap to the face that made him want to cry.

"Fine." Bilbo said as he stood from his bed and stretched.

"Don't even-" The dwarf had to check his temper before he started a shouting match. "Please Bilbo." His voice was calmer this time. "Just talk to me. Tell me everything." Thorin said as he caught Bilbo gently by his arms and sat him on the bed.

"I have to prepare breakfast." Bilbo argued without moving to get up.

"Talk to me." Thorin demanded. "Tell me everything."

"I just...I want to stay in bed. All the time and cry. I just feel so...hopeless. And guilty. I'm not hungry and I know if the other hobbits found out they'll think I've fallen off the wagon more than they already do. Because no respectable hobbit runs off on adventures. And I try to be good with Frodo but he idolizes me. In his eyes I can do no wrong and he doesn't know all of the things I've done. I lose my temper with him and he just accepts it. He's just a child he shouldn't have to worry when I'm going to snap at him. I feel like I'm so horrible but then you look at me and for a second, I'm back there on that adventure and Fili's pinching my ears and Kili's trying to carry me off and you're...you love me. And then I remember that I took them away from you and I remember that you should hate me. But you don't and that makes everything hurt more. If everyone would just hate me I would be okay." Bilbo said. "Because then no one would care if I just went away and never came back."

"Well I do care. And Frodo does care. And I know Fili and Kili would care. If they could see you moping like this, what do you think they'd say? If they could see you right now, crying and blaming yourself for their deaths, do you know what they would say? What they would do? They would slap me, their king and uncle. They would slap me silly and then they would take you into their arms and tell you to stop being stupid. And they would tell me that if I didn't keep you happier they'd take you for themselves. If they could see you right now, and I think they probably can, then they're probably making themselves deaf yelling at us." Thorin said smiling. "I miss them but I know that if I spend my time crying over them and thinking about all the things I did wrong, then I'll never be happy. And they would have wanted us to be happy." Thorin said.

"I miss them." Bilbo said as he leaned into Thorin who wrapped his arms around the small hobbit.

"I miss them too." Thorin said gently.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hobbit

After than things began slowly getting better. Bilbo lived the life he knew Kili and Fili would have wanted him to live. He started eating again, and had the occasional date night with Thorin who had become a good father figure for tiny Frodo. It was a nice life and when Bilbo and Thorin had grown old, they went to live in Rivindell where Thorin could have regular arguments with elves and Bilbo would write his songs. Frodo's adventure was soon to begin.


End file.
